'We're 5th cousins': The strange family secrets uncovered by DNA testing

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 26, 2023 7:00 PM EST

Just took a DNA test turns out I'm 100%… married to my 5th cousin. Whoops! This is exactly the kind of thing that you dread finding out when you take one of those mail-in DNA test kits. I, for one, am too scared to do it for fear that I'm carrying some unknown, dormant disease. It may be an irrational fear, yes, but it still holds me. I did take one of those mail-in food sensitivity tests (I have no known allergies) and it said my #1 most detrimental food was cinnamon. It was news to me. I guess I can never do the cinnamon challenge again, woe is me. 

There are folk out there braver than I, though, who have done the DNA thing and learned some pretty interesting stuff about their families. Reading these is like listening in on the best gossip at a family reunion. 

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  • 01
    g? r/AskReddit u/OneBigBodybuilder • 15h What's the most unexpected thing you've learned through a DNA ancestry test?
    via u/OneBigBodybuilder
  • 02
    KratomHelpsMyPain • 11h When my wife told her mother she was taking a 23 and Me test her mother said "I guess you'll find out who your real father is now" and laughed. She wasn't joking.
    via u/KratomHelpsMyPain
  • 03
    laspacecase. 5h My parents told me at 22 when I drunkenly admitted I used to joke about being adopted that my dad, who raised me and is on my birth certificate, is not my biological father. My mom found out she was pregnant while out of state visiting family, and my bio had moved by the time she got back; since I was a one-night-stand, she didn't know enough about him to find him, then she met my dad, and they started dating when she was six months pregnant with me (they've been together since).
    via u/laspacecase
  • 04
    PassionateDesire • 15h I've learned just how broken my family tree really is with multiple generations of mistaken fathers. Both my mother and father carried last names from men who were not their true fathers. It makes it very difficult to build a traditional family tree.
    via u/PassionateDesire
  • 05
    wandernwade • 14h I found out that my mom's maiden name didn't even belong to her dad, or even to his dad. They took the name, but not legally. It was also my first surname before it was legally changed to my dad's last name, so it kinda trips me out.
    via u/wandernwade
  • 06
    NeedlelnASwordstack • 11h I found my birth mother. Was adopted by wonderful parents as a one month old via closed adoption and later got gifted the DNA test when I was in grad school. I matched with my great aunt who put me in contact with my birth mother. It was so wild! I've always been very curious and we've exchanged a few emails. She worried that I hated her for giving me up but that couldn't be further from the truth! What she did, as a teenager no less, was so brave and had to have been i
    via u/NeedlelnASwordstack
  • 07
    eatyourpeasbro . 10h My wife and I got our 23 and Me test results together. I was looking my dna relative finder, and as I scrolled through, my wife's name pops up. I go, wow, they must include my wife because we bought our kits together. Then I looked closer, and what was weird was some of my other matches had a lower dna % match than my wife. I went, no way. I clicked on her name, and... ..We're 5th cousins. I think, ahh no big deal. You probably have a million 5th cousins. So I researched, an
    via u/eatyourpeasbro
  • 08
    pulpexploder • 12h My wife found out she had a half-brother. When she got the results, she was looking at her DNA matches and found one very close one that she did not recognize. She reached out to him. Turns out the guy never knew who his father was and took the test in the hopes of finding his family. His mother had given him up for adoption at birth. He was able to find some information on her, but was never able to find any information on him. My wife and her newfound half-brother have had n
    via u/pulpexploder
  • 09
    MBAdk 14h ● That the percentage of Inuit dna isn't common enough in the databases to read properly, and that it'll often show up as central- and south american ancestry in the results. I can't remember the scientific explanation, but the above mentioned is part of the explanation as far as I remember. Apart from that, the tiny percentage of scandinavian and european in my Inuit dna tracks with my family history of a few sailors, whalers and grocers thrown into the mix, so that wasn't a surprise
    via u/MBAdk
  • 10
    SeaFaring Pig • 15h That my "late" grandfather, on my dad's side, was not in fact, a glass blower, but an office clerk. An office clerk who worked for western electric in Chicago. For western electric in Chicago right at the time when a bunch of people got investigated for embezzlement. Then he suddenly died when my dad was very young. Then we find this guy in Florida who has the exact same name, just the middle name is different. Who look a lot like my dad. Who is the same age as my grandpa wou
    via u/SeaFaringPig
  • 11
    sp42069 13h ● Half of my ancestry was supposedly 100% Greek, but there were speculations we were part Turkish. It turns out we are part Arab from the Levant instead of Turkish, despite ancestors living in Turkey.
    via u/sp42069
  • 12
    zerbey • 13h Nothing too crazy, I found a distant cousin I didn't know I had and tried to contact her. She asked me which side of the family I was from, I told her her maternal Grandmother's line. She said "oh we don't have anything to do with those people" and blocked me. My Mother said she vaguely remembered her Great- Grandmother having a falling out with a cousin many decades ago but wasn't sure about the details, and never recalls seeing them again. My Great- Grandmother died in 1993, and w
    via u/zerbey
  • 13
    Obstetrix 12h ● That I have a cool 30+ half siblings, thanks to unregulated sperm donation. And that's just 30 that have taken the test. Also fun fact ADHD seems awfully genetic from where I'm sitting.
    via u/Obstetrix
  • 14
    Another_Random_Chap 15h ● The family story was that my great great grandfather lived and worked in China for a bit. The reality is that he was 100% Chinese, emigrated to Australia, was jailed for theft but only because they couldn't actually prove he killed the person the goods were stolen from, and then he really did murder his wife after he was released.
    via u/Another_Random_Chap
  • 15
    MKandtheforce • 11h I learned I was 50% Jewish... which was news to me, who grew up in a population with virtually no Jewish people. I emailed 23andme and told them they mixed my sample up with someone else... and was politely told "absolutely not." Turns out, I was conceived via sperm donation. My mother was never going to tell me. I have at least 36 biological half-siblings.
    via u/MKandtheforce
  • 16
    KaleTheMessenger • 14h My grandfather had 3 ex-wives before he met my grandmother. Apparently, back in the day you could just marry a woman, spend 3 months together and just leave and no one would say or do anything about it.
    via u/KaleTheMessenger
  • 17
    Add_8_Years • 14h My entire life, I've been told that my paternal great- grandfather was 100% Native American and my maternal grandmother was 100% German ancestry. According to my DNA, neither can be true.
    via u/Add_8_Years

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family drama ancestors modern discourse paternity interesting askreddit reddit story family memes dna test family DNA reddit thread Reddit discourse funny
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